Lose My Senses
by Richess
Summary: Spike gets the chip out but something goes wrong. Set after Blood Ties. Ship: SB


**Lose My Senses**

**Author:** Richess A.N.H. Richards

**Email for feedback:**

**Summary: **Spike gets the chip out but something goes wrong. Set after Blood Ties.

**Notes:** Part of the One Good Lay Finish This Fic Section.

**Thanks:** To Shippy for betaing this chapter.

**Part of OGL's Finish This Fic section. If you would like to continue this fic please let me know at richess78yahoo.ca or Please keep my name and contact information on this first part of the Lose My Senses fanfic. Thank you.**

Part 1

"You can't leave yet! It's too early after a major surgery, even for your kind." The doctor pleaded with his newest patient.

Two of the nurses scurried out of the room quickly, as did the head surgeon, leaving the vampire to deal with his colleague. The patient sat up and swung his legs around the side of the operating table.

"So it's out doc? Once and for all?" He asked ignoring the man's ranting.

"Yes! But there can be side effects to this type of brain surgery. To any kind of surgery for that matter. I think that you should stay here in San Diego for a few days until you are fully recovered." The young doctor suggested.

Spike jumped off of the table. The sterile room filled with equipment and tools looked like something straight out of ER. He picked up a scalpel and looked at his lack of reflection in the shiny piece of steel. The doctor backed up a couple of steps.

"What kind of effects?" Spike asked.

"We-well you could suffer memor . . ." Were the last words he spoke as pain, and terror coursed through his body as the vampire dropped the scalpel and advanced on him at lightning speed.

Spike sank his fangs deep into the doctor's neck. The warm liquid flowed into his mouth, down his throat. It was blissful after a year and a half of drinking pig's blood, having human blood was like eating expensive caviar that rolls on your tongue and is smooth going down. He growled as he sank his fangs down harder in the man's neck. No pain. No blinding pain. Spike smiled inwardly, as he retracted his fangs and let his human facade come back. The head surgeon walked back into the room.

"Thanks. Your debt to me is paid Spike. I'll dispose of Dr. Campbell. If you feel up to it you can go." Dr. Stiles smiled as Spike let the body drop to the floor with a thud.

"Thanks Doc. I've got an old friend to go visit." Spike licked the blood from his lips and he stalked across the room grabbing his duster from a nearby chair and smiling as he headed for the door to finally accomplish the one task he had failed at so miserably over the years.

Part 2

Buffy hadn't seen Spike in the last five days and began to wonder if he was still in Sunnydale. Usually he'd have come by to bother her. Or pass by the Magic Box. A part of Buffy was actually worried about him. She passed by his crypt and he still wasn't there, "Where the hell could he be?"

Spike dumped the girl's body two blocks away from the Bronze and walked casually towards the Scoobies' hang out. He must have radiated power and confidence when he walked in, people parted like the red sea as he strolled through the crowded club.

He saw Red, and her girlfriend. The whelp and his ex-demon honey. But no Slayer. Spike avoided them and turned quickly towards the bar, but a dull throb in the back of his head stopped his actions. His head had been throbbing in pain during the whole drive back to Sunnydale and now he could see stars before his eyes. He kept still for a moment waiting for the nausea and disorientating pain to pass. He looked up to see the Slayer standing before him.

"Where have you been?" Buffy asked examining Spike face.

"I've been around, slayer." Spike smiled at her, "I heard that something is going on over at the Collins Cemetery. Some new baddies. Should we check it out?"

"I'm going to tell the gang I'm going patrolling." Buffy brushed past him.

Spike watched as she walked away and whispered to himself, "It'll be the last time you ever see them pet. Better make sure it's a proper good bye."

"So where'd you get this information from Spike?" Buffy asked as they walked towards the cemetery.

"Harm. She heard about it." Spike replied evasively as he fiddled with the railroad spike in his pocket. He'd always wondered why he'd kept the old piece of rusted metal. But now he understood. _Symbolism._ _Burying this in her chest. No, her forehead. No. Yeah. Oh well I'll decide later_. He had to make sure that her watcher, Angel, and the scoobies would know that he'd done it.

"Well?" Buffy looked at him.

"Well what?" Spike asked confused.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?" The annoyance in Buffy's voice made him smile.

"What are you smiling about?"

"We're here." Spike broke the latch on the gate and they walked in.

"I was asking you why this cemetery. No one's been buried here in the last 5 years. It's full. There's no room here. Are they looking for a particular body? They doing a ritual, or what? And what kind of baddies are we talking about?" She asked, looking around the empty graveyard.

"You ask a lot of questions but you never ask the right ones." Spike started. "Did it ever cross your mind that I took out to the most remote cemetery in Sunnydale for one particular reason? Did you ever wonder why I gave you no specific details? Did you ever think that I could be luring you out here to kill you? Or get someone to kill you? Dru could be out here right now and you wouldn't even know. Sometimes you're just so blind."

Buffy watched him intently as he talked, putting her senses on high alert.

"Probably didn't even notice that I was away for a week? It should have worried you, pet."

"Why Spike? Why should it worry me?" Buffy asked taking a step away from him.

"You know why?" Spike stepped closer towards her. And Buffy took another step back. "You know why?"

"You got the chip out?" She gasped.

"That's the correct answer and you didn't even use a lifeline. Wow." Spike grinned. He was glowing with energy.

"So I guess that's it. You're going to try and kill me now?"

"Of course."

"Well, Spike I can't say that I'm not going to enjoy staking you." Buffy quipped with confidence._ I can' believe that during all the time he was helping us he had been planning my demise all along. To think I was worried about him._

Buffy held a fighting stance, waiting for Spike to strike. But he didn't. "So are we going to do this or not Spike?"

"I wouldn't be rushing me if I were you. I want you to savour your last moments on this earth, before you leave it."

"Speak for yourself." Buffy launched a series of kicks and punches with unbelievable fury. But none of them landed on Spike. He ducked, dodged, jumped, pivoted and blocked every blow.

Buffy stopped, huffing and puffing and her eyes open in disbelief.

"See spending this much time with you has enabled me to hone in on your fighting techniques. The reason why you couldn't hit me… I know all your moves. I've studied you Buffy 101 from cover to cover. It's a requirement for my major thesis on The Ethics of Slayer Killing as Seen From a Vampire's Perspective, an essential part in my double major in International Relations and Evil."

"Give me a break." Buffy replied. Her nerves were on edge. _Has he really been studying me? Does he really know all my moves?_

"My turn now." Spike lashed out and hit Buffy in the face she grunted from the impact of the blow as she fell backwards. Before she could move he grabbed the lapels of her leather coat, hauled her off the ground and flung her into a war memorial monument.

Buffy then landed on the ground struggling for breath. Even with the wind knocked out of her she heard his advancing footsteps and picked herself up off the ground.

"This is going to be fun." Spike grinned as he advanced on Buffy.

Buffy scissor kicked Spike and he dodged the blow. She quickly recovered and swept his feet out from underneath him. He quickly regained his footing. Buffy pulled out her stake and charged after the vampire. He grabbed her arm and twisted it violently behind her back. She screamed in pain. The way he was standing behind her, holding her arm was very reminiscent of Lui-Cheung. He contemplated sinking his fangs into Buffy's neck but then looked at the scars that marred the right side of neck and thought against it. He reached for the railroad spike.

Buffy sensed a hesitation in him and brought back her head quickly. His neck snapped back from the force of the blow. He let go her and grabbed his nose. The Slayer quickly spun around knowing that the battle was far from over. Buffy gave Spike a roundhouse kick knocking him to the ground. She pounced on him, it was the perfect opportunity to take him down. That was her mistake. Spike had already been in this position with Nikki the second Slayer he'd killed. With Buffy straddling him she raised her left arm preparing to plunge the stake into his heart. But her right shoulder was already weak and in pain. He grabbed her arm and yanked it down hard, sending her into the ground. He quickly reversed positions. He was now straddling Buffy when he pulled out the rusted spike.

"This is going to be fun." His true demon face coming forward.

He brought the stake to her heart, "It just seems fitting. Staking a slayer."

Buffy mustered all her strength and bucked Spike off her. She quickly got off the ground but not quickly enough, Spike had already recovered. He then proceeded to backhand the Slayer sending her head first into a headstone. Buffy fought off a wave of dizziness when Spike efficiently began kicking Buffy hard in the ribs. Blood trickled from her mouth and his vampire face emerged at the smell.

Buffy grabbed his foot and kicked him in the groin. He fell to the ground hard. Buffy tried to fight off the darkness that was beginning to consume her but it was too late. She closed her eyes knowing that the stars above would be the last things that she would ever see.

He felt her grab his leg. It sent him off balance and in her last ditch effort she swung her leg up and kicked him in the groin. Everything in that brief second changed. He barely had time to register the pain as he fell backwards, his head hitting the adjacent headstone knocking him unconscious.

Part 3

Buffy woke up feeling cold finger brushing around her torso as a bandage was being carefully applied. Buffy sat stunned and confused still as Spike bandaged her ribs which he had just finished bruising. _He must be crazy,_ she thought. But then she looked at him and saw the large nasty bump on his forehead.

"God Buffy I'm so sorry. I can't believe... The doctor said there'd be side effects but I didn't believe that I could ever hurt you. God I love you." He explained and apologized as he touched her cheek gently.

Buffy wanted to strangle him but that would be ineffective. Not to mention her sore ribs, throbbing shoulder, bruised jaw, three broken fingers, a splitting headache steadily getting worse, also prevented her from doing the strangling.

Spike sat down gently on his bed and stroked her hair. Buffy didn't want to fall asleep. He might try to kill her again but her body begged for relaxation. And soon enough she couldn't fight it.

Spike felt nervous as she drifted back asleep. _What if she never forgives me?_ His stomach suddenly felt knotted as he continued to stroke her hair. He then gently grabbed the blanket dreading what he was going to have to do now. Spike felt a sharp pain travel down his spine as he stood up. He sat back down slowly grunting as the action caused more pain.

"I think sleep would be good for me too." He decided.

Part 4

Buffy woke up to the chirping of birds, and the throbbing in her head finally leaving. But every time she moved her eyes underneath her lids she felt the dull pain becoming sharper. So she kept them closed and still trying to take stock of the events of the night before_. Spike trapping me. Beating me to a pulp. Then Spike helping. God it must be the Hellmouth._

She suddenly felt something cool brush her neck and then move along her collarbone. It suddenly stopped. Buffy was about to open her eyes when the coolness brushed her cheek. She moved toward it instinctively, her swollen cheek needing something cold. Finally she opened her eyes to see Spike lying next to her propped up on one elbow while his other hand caressed her face. He smiled at her slightly then his smile faded when he saw the look on her face.

"I'm so sorry baby. I just wanted that damn chip out so much I never thought of what it might do to us." He looked at her cheek.

"Us?" Buffy asked harshly, "there is no . . . ."

Spike looked at Buffy terrified of the words were about to come out of her mouth. His eyes showed such regret that Buffy couldn't even begin to comprehend. The Slayer didn't know what to do. She watched the emotion play on his face. She opened her mouth to continue but didn't. He slowly lowered himself on her burying his head against her good shoulder and also making sure that he didn't put any additional strain on her injuries.

"I'd und-er-stand if you." He choked on the words, "I mean after all the things that we've been through to make our relationship work and then I have to go and do this."

Buffy felt something wet hit her shoulder then she felt it again. When Buffy heard a sniffle her suspicions were confirmed. Spike was crying. She was stunned.

It was afternoon she guessed from the bustling cars on the road. She remembered it had been dawn when he was bandaging her up.

He lifted his head and then looked at her. A small part of Buffy felt bad but that part was small. She had no clue what to say or do so she remained quiet and looked away from him. She knew that he had shut his eyes when she felt two droplets hit her neck but she refused to look at him. She felt the bed lighten as he got to his feet.

"In case this is the last time I ever get to say this, I love the way you look in the morning." Spike sighed. Buffy wanted to yell at him from the top of her lungs, but she was too stunned to even make sense of the situation. "I better go tell your watcher that you're here." He grabbed a black T-shirt, pulled it over his bruised torso then he lifted up a nearby sewer grate and disappeared down the hole.

As soon as he left Buffy tried to get up but her ribs didn't appreciate the movement. She lay back down until she heard the door of the crypt open slowly.

"Spike? SPIKE!"

Relief overwhelmed her when she heard the voice, "Giles!" Buffy shouted weakly.

"Buffy?" Giles walked into the crypt to see the battered Slayer, "What happened?"

"Spike." Buffy replied flatly, "The chip is out Giles."

"God Lord!"

"That's not the 'God Lord' part Giles. He thinks that he's my boyfriend."

"Come again?" Giles said examined the Slayer's ribs. She flinched as he began applying pressure.

"He was beating me to bloody pulp Giles, and I gave him one last kick and he must have fell back and hit his head I guess. I passed out and then I woke up to Spike playing the nursemaid with me. He apologized and went on this blah blah run about 'how could he do this to the woman he loves' and all kind of crap. He thinks that we're a couple. That's the only reason I am alive, Giles. A couple of hours ago he was hell bent on killing me and now he went out to find you so that you could help me. What are we going to do?" Giles helped Buffy sit up as she rambled on.

"How about STAKE him!" Giles replied angrily.

"I tried that. I have evidence of the beating to prove it." The sarcasm sounded a little like defeat to Giles' ears. Giles looked at her tired eyes. He could tell that she was in a lot of pain.

"So what are you suggesting? You want to make him believe that his warped delusions are true?"

"What choice do I have Giles?" Buffy sighed painfully, "He knows about Dawn and he's just kicked my ass the way it's never been kicked before. Do I have a choice in the matter?"

Giles didn't like this plan at all, "And when he remembers Buffy then what will happen?"

"I'll be healed by then hopefully and this time I won't be caught off guard." Buffy sighed deeply and immediately regretted it as the pain laced her nerves, "We'll have to deal with that later. Right now I think that you should take me home."

The sound of metal scraping against concrete worried both Giles and Buffy as they turned to see Spike emerging from the sewer.

Spike could see from the look on Giles' face that Buffy had told him everything. The vampire held his head down in shame. Giles quickly saw the nasty bump on his forehead.

"Spike I am going to take her home and I want you to stay away from her."

"I know you never approved of..."

Giles scoffed, knowing that this world that Spike had running around in his battered head didn't stray too far from reality.

Spike continued, "…of Buffy and I... But I would never. I never thought..." the rest of the words suddenly seemed to stick in his throat.

"You never what Spike?" Giles helped Buffy out of the bier. She whimpered in pain, "Never thought that you would hurt her. Well isn't that nice to know?" His voice dripped with bitterness. As the Watcher opened the crypt door and let in enough sun to graze the vampire's cheek. Spike hissed in pain as he dove out of the way into a dark corner.

"You stay away from her Spike." The door slammed shut. The vampire's heart had never felt heavier with guilt than now as he sat slumped against a wall wondering how things could have gone so wrong.

**TBC… Part of the OGL Finish This fic Series  
**  
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